Mr. Sarcasm

Oh, show me how much you love your cat,

  and I'm so moved by that lone horizon tree silhouette.

Call your work "Metamorphosis" for no apparent reason,

   then proceed to tell me about non-conformism.


Eyeballs and limbless torsos in your surreal piece?

How original!

Your epic skillz give me pause -

I need a shovel.

Portrait of a vampire queen?

Be still my heart.

Close-up photo of a rusty spot -

Now that's art!


By all means give us more

  melodrama in your prose or poetry,

  moody filtered darkroom photography,

  sugary sweet sentimentality,

  or urban abstracts lacking originality.


“Be yourself”, you say?

“Never give up”, eh?

Wisdom learned from Apple ads?

Or bubblegum wrappers?

Toss them where they belong -

   right down the crapper.


Why should I care for your watches or faves,

   respond to your comments, or listen to praise?

My group is administered with care and finesse,

   a membership of one,

   I admit but the best.


Now, if you’re feeling

   on the defensive,

Understand my remarks

   are not comprehensive.

Applying to most,

   but not to me.

You'll find no cliches

   in my gallery.  


Sincerely,

   The Artiste